Archive for the ‘batshitcrazy products’ Category


When I learned how to count and connect the dots, I never imagined I would ever get to connect these dots! I think this should be part of sex ed classes. Seriously. Most kids having sex in this country don’t know how to count either… so imagine what these books can do for the youth of America! I’m here to help. Helping America’s youth. That’s me. That’s what I do.



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‘Cause everyone needs a pair of shoes made of bread…well, lookie here!!!

I hope they’re comfortable enough to wear on a hike. See, that way I won’t have to carry a bag of bread crumbs to find my way back. I’ll follow the pieces of my shoe that fall off! My goodness I’m a genius.



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Picasso… Monet… Da Vinci and… Ronald McDonald (!?) It’s only a matter of time before the Mona Lisa becomes Jenny Craig’s newest spokesperson…



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Batshitcrazy Shoes

I’m what some people may call spatially challenged. You could lock me in my bedroom for an hour and when it’s time for me to come out, I’d have one of these suckers around my wrist, the other dangling from my neck. I don’t get it. But apparently, this is a shoe. Yes, one of those things you wear on your feet. I have no clue how it works, but I want one. Well, two.

And a high heel shoe at that. Designed by London architect Julian Hakes, the Mojito shoe is made of carbon fiber–to give it strength and spring–and laminated with rubber on the bottom and leather–from furniture manufacturers in High Wycombe, England–on top.



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I  had a dream like this once… only there wasn’t a slide coming out of an elephant’s ass.

Actually, my dream was nothing like this.


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I have a feeling we’ll be seeing Paris Hilton in the McDonald’s drive-thru today…



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Halloween is fast approaching. Well it was fast approaching as of November 1st of last year…

I cannot wait to have kids of my own and dress them up in outfits that’ll scare the crap out my friends and family. And I don’t mean scare as in “oooh you’re so scary in your witch costume.”

I mean scary as in “Seriously, you’ve lost your damn mind. I’m calling social services. You never should have been a parent. Now put down the bottle of Jack Daniels and untie your kid from the tree and let the nice policeman take him”

costume1All together now… awwww!!!

costume4Usually babies look like aliens when they are born… then there’s this.

costume15I hope no one sits on this poor kid.


Teaching kids early… It’s hard out there for a PIMP.

Picture2I call a drumstick!!!

terroristwq0YAY for Do It Yourself Suicide Bomber Costumes!

It’s all smiles kid till you realize, yeah… you’re gonna explode too!

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