Archive for September, 2009

Batshitcrazy Shoes

I’m what some people may call spatially challenged. You could lock me in my bedroom for an hour and when it’s time for me to come out, I’d have one of these suckers around my wrist, the other dangling from my neck. I don’t get it. But apparently, this is a shoe. Yes, one of those things you wear on your feet. I have no clue how it works, but I want one. Well, two.

And a high heel shoe at that. Designed by London architect Julian Hakes, the Mojito shoe is made of carbon fiber–to give it strength and spring–and laminated with rubber on the bottom and leather–from furniture manufacturers in High Wycombe, England–on top.




Read Full Post »

This gives a whole new meaning to the term “hat head.”  But what about in places where you’re not allowed to wear a hat inside!? What does he do!? WHAT DOES HE DO!?  I wonder if he ever changes the style. Personally, I prefer the Fedora look over the standard baseball cap. You can dress it up, or dress it down depending on the occasion. Way more options. Just sayin’…

Side note: Why do all Japanese videos have such insanity on the screen. WHAT is all that!? Somebody please translate. I feel claustrophobic.



Read Full Post »

How do you go from plastering every single cover of  Bop! Magazine for the latter part of the 80’s to this…? Look, we’re all happy you chose Jesus over starring in Lifetime TV Movies like the rest of your old Growing Pains cast, but how about not being such a creep?  The public embraces an ex-child star who robs liquor stores for crack money…  but a radical born again? Nah ah. You should have taken the good ol’ heroin route, Kirk.

Apparently, when you buy this special book, you get a free poster. I wonder if it’s of Mike Seaver in an all denim outfit, arms crossed with silly grin across his face as he leans against his bedroom wall…

Read Full Post »

Where do they have public squares? I wanna hang out in a public square. What about a circle? Will the angels be ok with doing public abortions in a circle? How about on a stage? With an announcer! And a sidekick! Oh, this will be oodles of fun. I hope they serve cotton candy. Nothing like a public abortion and some cotton candy.

This bitch needs serious f’in help. Her parents should have aborted her.


Read Full Post »

I  had a dream like this once… only there wasn’t a slide coming out of an elephant’s ass.

Actually, my dream was nothing like this.


Read Full Post »

Convicted killers go to jail. Mentally Insane convicted killers get to go to the County Fair! That whole ‘packing a bag with all your clothes to bring to the fair to escape and change’ thing is just a quirk of mentally insane murderers. No one should have been alarmed. Nope…

Funnel Cakes are being offered as a reward.



Read Full Post »

Who is coming with me!?  They even have large group discounts!  I’m hoping to be married off by sundown and knocked up with my new cousin’s incest baby by morning.


Polygamy 2

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »